60% of U.S. citizens are overweight or obese. It's disgusting. There is truly nothing I like more than walking down the street and having to get off the sidewalk and into the middle lane of a major highway in order to go around somebody who thinks that every time they eat their own weight in raw lard, an angel gets its wings.

And let's face it, today's charts are more lenient than ever. Did you know that the "acceptable" woman is expected to have at least TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT body fat? That means your 120lb "hotty" is hiding away thirty pounds of disgusting, unsightly fat. Doesn't seem all that "acceptable" to me! And for you women out there, your weightlifting 180lb guy who says his body fat is in the "fitness" level may look nice from far away, but look closer - he's sporting a six-pack of CHUB. At "fitness" level, he's probably got around twenty-seven pounds of pure fat.

Oh, I'm not stupid, I know the human body needs some amount of fat to survive. But why should we accept these absurd charts from our country's leaders (who, by the way, are getting a ton of money from the fast food industry to keep quiet about the real ideal body weights)? I'm here to help you out! The people labeled "anorexic" or "bulimic" are ostracized for being so damn hot. Cast out by those who are jealous they'll never be that skinny. Mocked by those who make money off of the slobs who eat too much and need constant surgeries. It's sad. Sad and unfair.

I'm here to help. My ideal body weight calculator will ensure that you can fight back! Just follow my guidelines and you, too, can lose all that ugly fat you're oozing right at this very minute!

What is your ideal weight?

Enter your weight, Choose a formula below and get the knowledge you need to become a better, more attractive person.

Which formula is right for you? Well, the BMI system for calculating ideal weight is quick, but can be very inaccurate for certain body types. On the other hand, the body fat calculation is a bit more accurate in terms of telling you where you stand today, but the "ideal weight" it produces assumes you won't lose any muscle, which you must do if you really want to look good (women in particular). So your best bet, really, is to use both tools as a guideline.